


Skaia High

by EchoEquinox



Series: The Grand Shipping Challenge [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-25
Updated: 2014-12-05
Packaged: 2018-02-22 14:38:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2511326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EchoEquinox/pseuds/EchoEquinox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Her Imperial Condescension has arrived from a planet called Alternia. In order to keep peace between Earth and the Alternian Fleet, she's sent down several children as ambassadors, to learn the culture and spread their own. But they end up mingling perhaps a bit... too well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part One

The new kids were weird. Most new kids were "weird", but usually in a "new-kid" way. These new kids were more "alien" weird. And for good reason. They weren't from Earth. Jade Harley, however, found them fascinating, even though most of her peers viewed them with disgust or fear.

On 11/11/11, first contact with an alien race was made. The race called themselves "Trolls" and were led by an alien empress known as "Her Imperial Condescension", commonly referred to as the Condesce. After contact, the trolls began integrating into society. One of these ways was called the "Alternian Ambassador Program", in which troll children, roughly of adolescent maturity in both intelligence and physical growth, participated in the human school system in order to learn from humans, as well as give their own knowledge on troll culture. The problem with this, however, was that humans were usually inherently afraid of them, and avoided them on principal.

Jade Harley's school, Skaia High, hosted twenty four of these trolls, some of whom even received decent reception with the human kids, primarily Vriska Serket - for her dominating and bullying nature - Porrim Maryam - for her interesting, alien sense of fashion - Karkat Vantas - girls fawned over him simply because of his uncaring attitude - and Rufioh Nitram - because, well, even Jade admitted Rufioh was rather hunky.

However, on the opposite end of the spectrum were two blue-blooded brothers: the Zahhaks. The teachers, being paid to treat each student, human or troll, equally, were supposed to be unbiased, but even they steered clear of the Zahhak brothers, primarily Equius. They were blue-bloods (meaning they had ACTUAL blue blood) and this put them higher up on their "hemospectrum" than most. Navy blue blood meant lower-upper class. Or upper-middle class. Fascinating as Jade found the trolls, the hemospectrum still confused her.

"Hey, Equius," a voice shrilled. The troll turned from the front of the class from behind his broken sunglasses (something of a fashion amongst blue-blooded trolls, Jade gathered) to get a rolled up ball of paper thrown in his face. The kids laughed even louder when he opened it and found a picture of a bucket, shuddering hard and throwing the paper on the floor.

"Ms. Lalonde?" Jade asked, raising her hand. "Can't you make them stop pestering him?"

"I'm sorry, Harley," Jade's teacher, Ms. Lalonde, sighed. "They're freshman. I can't make them do anything."

"Ooh, is Jade a troll-lover?"

"N-no! I just- I think it's mean that you all have to pick on him like that. He didn't do anything to you!"

"Troll-lover, troll-lover!" Jade blushed and buried her face in her arms.

"That's enough out of you all," Ms. Lalonde snapped. Jade made sure to scamper out as quickly as she could as soon as the bell rang.

* * *

"Hey, Jade," her friend John said, beaming as she plopped down next to him.

"Yo, Harley," Dave nodded. Rose gave her typical enigmatic but warming smile and a nod.

"Hey, guys," Jade said, sighing. She raised her sandwich to her mouth, then paused. Across the cafeteria, the blue-blooded troll sat silently, eating on his own. "Actually, I'm gonna sit with someone else today, guys," she said, standing up.

"You sure, Jade?" John asked, frowning.

"Yeah, it's fine."

"See ya, J.," Dave waved. She made her way over to Equius's table, sitting opposite him. He froze, stock-still.

"Hello, Equius," she said with a smile.

"O-oh. Hello, Jade. I- am I intruding on your normal spot? I-I can move..."

"No, it's fine, Equius. I wanted to sit with you." He blinked.

"O-oh. I see." There was a moment of awkward silence.

"So, what are you eating?"

"Ah, it's from Alternia. It's grub-loaf with grub-sauce." Jade turned up her nose.

"Lots of 'grubs' on Alternia."

"Yes, quite. Similar to your Earth cows, our livestock are instead large grubs."

"Ew, creepy."

"Yes, I would say to an outsider they would be rather unnerving." Another awkward silence. "Why did you sit with me?"

"You were alone," she replied with a frown.

"You are not frightened of me? The other children are."

"They're just mean, is all." Equius paused for a moment.

"I was... secluded on Alternia, aside from my Lusus and my brother, so any social interaction is welcome, even taunting. However, the... bucket drawings were less than appreciative."

"Yeah, what's up with trolls and buckets? I know it makes you uneasy and stuff."

"It has to to do with... troll mating."

"Oh. Oh! Oh, jeez, I see, I'm sorry, Equius."

"No, it's quite alright," he said with a light smile. "I must say, I was... rather apprehensive at first, but I do rather enjoy you coming and speaking to me."

"It's no problem, really," she replied, smiling. They continued to talk until the bell rang. "Oh, shoot, I better get to class. I can talk with you at lunch here tomorrow?"

"What class? Perhaps we have it together."

"Biology?"

"Ah, no. I'm sorry. Tomorrow, then." She nodded and waved, heading off.

* * *

"And I said, 'I didn't take your paper, a breeze must've knocked it off!'" John exclaimed.

"Man, Egbert, you're like the fuckin' pranking MASTER," Dave grinned, slugging him on the shoulder. The group chuckled. Suddenly, Jade caught a glance of someone on the school steps, walking inside.

"Hey, I forgot something inside, go on without me," she said. They nodded and she bounded up the steps into the quiet hallway. "Equius?" she called. No response came. She frowned, peeking down hallway after hallway. Finally, she found herself at the gym.

"Hello?" she asked, peeking in. The gymnasium was quiet and dark, and completely empty. She turned to leave when she felt a hand on her mouth. She began to struggle, then turned to find Equius.

"Shh," he said, gently nudging her into the gym. When the door closed, he released her.

"Equius, wha-?" He silenced her with a firm kiss. Her eyes widened as he continued, fearful but returning it reluctantly. He moved his lips to her neck and she blushed, feeling her neck and chest flush with color. "E-Equius, m-maybe we sh-shouldn't-"

"Shh," he said again, "it's alright." He moved back to her lips as his hand slid down into her jeans. They blush became a darker red and she gasped, attempting to move his arm, but finding his grip alone held her fast, not to mention her confusion and uncomfortable hesitation. His fingers slid down along her slit and she gritted her teeth to avoid moaning.

"Are you hurt?" Equius asked, recoiling. She paused. He genuinely seemed to not want her hurt.

"N-no, it's f-fine," she mumbled. He nodded, sliding his fingers again along her slit, and this time she released a soft cooing noise. Tentatively, he began to push one finger into her, making her whimper softly. He frowned, focusing as his finger slid deeper and her moans became louder.

"E-Equius," she panted. His face was steely and focused, as if... studying, maybe? She didn't care. Pleasure was the overriding emotion now. Her hand found her breast and began to massage herself as he continued, testing various speeds and tempos in and out with his fingers until he had her moaning consistently She felt a heat rising inside her and she began to panic.

"E-E-Equius," she panted. "I-I th-think I'm cl-close..."

"Oh, I see. Very good..." Perhaps he was naturally this way, or perhaps her throes of pleasure were screwing with her head, but she couldn't read his emotion at all. Blank, like a void. Suddenly, the heat and pressure were too much. She bit her lip to keep from yelling too loud, bucking her hips and holding his shoulders as her orgasm took her hard. She gasped and grunted, panting and letting her vision fuzz and pop, then clear very slowly. Apparently, much more slowly than she'd anticipated, as when her head cleared, Equius was gone. In his place was a note that read, "May we still talk tomorrow at lunch? -E"

She chuckled and sighed, collapsing against the cold gymnasium floor for a rest.


	2. Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When forced to walk back to her Temporary Hive alone, Nepeta finds she gets... distracted along the way.

Nepeta frowned. Equius had run off and left her all alone, leaving her to make her way back to their temporary hive on her own.

"Stupid mean Equius," she growled, kicking a pebble. "What a big dumb jerk! Hmph!" She watched it roll over to a tree, under which lay a black cat in a tuxedo, sleeping soundly. "Kitty!" Nepeta gasped. She pounced, scooping the cat up in her arms and rubbing it against her face. "Soft kitty, so furry and-"

"Excuse me." She spun to see an intimidating girl wearing black make-up, arms crossed, and a look of vague amusement on her face. "It does appear you've found my cat, troll."

"O-oh! Yes, sorry!" She released the cat from her loving grip.

"Come here, Jaspers," the girl called softly, the cat rubbing against her leg and purring. "You're Nepeta, am I correct?"

"Oh, yes, Nepeta Leijon."

"An olive-blood, if I'm not terribly mistaken? Middle-class on Alternia." Nepeta nodded. The girl was rather learned in troll-culture. "Sorry, my name is Rose Lalonde. You know, I'd love to compensate you for finding Jaspers for me, but I have no money on me at the moment. Would you perhaps like to come home with me for dinner instead?" Nepeta blinked. This human, unlike most others, seemed unafraid of her. In fact, she seemed almost... entertained. Inviting.

"W-well- I-I don't know-"

"If you have somewhere to be, I understand completely."

"N-no, I just-... okay, sure. I can come have dinner with you." Rose smiled coyly.

"Splendid. Follow me, I'll show you the way." Nepeta fell in line behind Rose as they headed down the street, ignoring the strange looks from people, both disgusted and intrigued.

"So tell me, Nepeta, what do trolls eat?"

"Well, grubs, mostly."

"...like the little worms?"

'Oh, no, not like Earth grubs. Big ones. We have farms full of them."

"Interesting. Grub-cattle. And cats?"

"What?"

"You seemed interested in my cat. Do you have them on Alternia?"

"We have clawbeasts, which are pretty similar, I think. Bigger sometimes. More mouths and teeth." Rose chuckled.

"I wouldn't like to see Jaspers with more teeth." The cat cocked its head and the two girls laughed. "Here we are," Rose said, gesturing toward the house.

"That's a big hive- er, house."

"Mom's been married a few times, and got a lot of money out of it." Nepeta frowned.

"Married?"

"Oh, sorry. Hmm... two people stay and live together?" Nepeta nodded slowly. "What about troll romance?" Nepeta's eyes gleamed and she had to stifle a grin.

"Oh, man, I love troll romamce. See, it's broken up into four parts..." They made their way inside as Nepeta gave a long-winded and detailed explanation of troll romance.

"Wow," Rose chuckled when Nepeta had finished. "Pretty interesting stuff."

"I like to- oh, nevermind..."

"What?"

"I write... stories, kind of. About my friends, and me..."

"Oh, I see. Love stories?" Nepeta scrunched up her face. "Sorry, red-romance stories?"

"Sometimes red-roms, sometimes black-roms, too."

"Kismesissitudes, am I correct? Such an interesting concept. Fueling one another's rage while also mating like lovers. Hmm."

"Humans don't have black-roms?" Nepeta asked.

"None they talk about openly," Rose said with a smile, leading Nepeta into the kitchen where Rose's mother was cooking, using wine in the cooking as frequently as she took long drinks from the bottle. "Mother, we have a guest for dinner." Her mother spun, appraising the troll. "Nepeta Leijon of Alternia."

"Nice to meet you, Nepeta," her mother replied curtly, returning to the meal.

"Smells like catfish," Rose smiled, making Nepeta pale.

"C-cat fish?"

"Not like real cats, don't worry. Just fish with whiskers." Rose put her hands up by her face to imitate whiskers. "You'll see. Shall I show you around?"

"Sure," Nepeta smiled, following Rose around the house as she showed her each room.

"And, finally, this is my room," Rose said, leading her inside.

"Your respite block," Nepeta said as she looked around.

"Indeed."

"A human bed," Nepeta chuckled, sitting on it.

"Funny?"

"We have recooperacoons. Big pods full of slime that makes us sleep."

"Interesting. Beds, however, are very comfortable. An advantage I highly doubt your recooperacoons can match." Rose paused. "May I ask a strange question?"

"Okay," Nepeta smiled.

"What is troll anatomy like?" Nepeta blushed.

"You mean like...?" Rose nodded. "Um, well... it's called a tentabulge..." Rose's eyebrow rose. "It has six tentacles and a nub in the center, as well as a small hole for genetic material..."

"And your... breasts?"

"My what?" Rose gestured toward her own breasts in demonstration. "Oh, those? It's a mutation. About half of all trolls have them."

"What about male trolls?"

"What do you mean?"

"Females have tentabulges, correct?"

"Oh, no, all trolls have tentabulges." Rose's eyebrows both raised.

"Very interesting. So boys can mate with boys and girls with girls?"

"Well yeah, of course," Nepeta laughed. "Humans... can't?" Rose shook her head.

"I can show you," Rose said slowly, a pink tinge creeping across her cheeks. Nepeta blinked.

"I-I- y-you don't have-"

"Please," Rose said, undressing. "It will be much simpler. See that drawer?" Nepeta nodded. "Open it please. The pink object." Nepeta complied, pulling out a long, tube-shaped object.

"This?"

"Indeed," Rose affirmed as she finished undressing. "That is a rather detailed replica of the male anatomy."

"O-oh!" Nepeta dropped it and Rose chuckled.

"Do not be alarmed. Look. Females have holes and males are designed to... fill these holes." Rose began to rube the tube against herself and moaned softly. "First we must... mmm... produce lubricative juices... like so..." She groaned and rubbed herself until she was thoroughly wet, her cheeks and chest flushed pink. "Then... you may... enter..." She pushed the thing into herself, groaning and wincing. "How... how about you?" she panted. "Can you show me?" Nepeta flushed dark olive and gulped, but nodded, stripping down, revealing her bulge. "Ohh, I see. May I?" Nepeta turned away and nodded.

Rose ran a finger along one of the tentacles, giving Nepeta a cool sensation and she shivered with a soft mewl. She leaned over, running her tongue over one, causing Nepeta to gasp and whine loudly. "Ooh, kitty likes that," Rose purred, eyes glazed and expression lusty. "And this nub?"

"N-no, wait-" Rose began to lick the nub, eliciting loud panting moans from the troll. Her olive juices were now spilling from her copiously.

"How much control do you have over your tentacles?" Rose asked suddenly.

"A-a lot?" She moved closer, spreading her legs.

"Can you try pushing them into me?" Nepeta froze, then blushed brightly, nodding slowly, pushing her hips forward to meet Rose's slit with her own well-lubricated bulge. She slid the tentacles inside easily and Rose moaned loudly, writhing against the troll. Rose wrapped her arms around Nepeta's ash-colored chest and Nepeta clung to Rose as well, both rocking against one another, panting and groaning, until Rose gasped and cried out, her pussy tightening around Nepeta's bulge as she too panted in orgasm. When their orgasming pleasure dimmed, then two blushed and quickly redressed.

"Thank you, Nepeta," Rose said softly, avoiding eye contact. "It was both enjoyable and educational."

"Y-yeah... it was..."

"Girls, dinner," Rose's mom called up the stairs.

"Coming," Rose answered. "Ready for dinner?" Nepeta smiled and nodded. Rose outstretched her hand and Nepeta took it as the two left to eat.


	3. Part Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Swim-team enthusiast John Egbert meets a troll who shares his love of water.

**Skaia High, Part Three  
[Continuous Series]**

John surfaced for air with a gasp, panting and grinning up at Dave, who was smirking.

"Nice job, fishboy," he said, clicking the stopwatch. "A few hairs faster than your last time."

"Yes!" John cheered, pulling himself up out of the school pool and splashing Dave.

"Whoa man, seriously? You're gonna get water on the shades?" Dave pouted, shoving John back in with his foot. John laughed as he fell in, bobbing back up and yanking his goggles off. "Seriously man, not cool."

"You're just so naturally warm, I've gotta cool you down," John beamed and clambered back up on land, catching the towel Dave whipped at him and using it to dry off. "Besides, you ought to try swimming too. It's good for you!"

"Yeah good for me my ass. All that chlorine's gonna dry out my naturally smooth and beautiful skin, John. Do you know how much I moisturize to get this smooth?" he asked, flexing his freckled arms.

"I'm… not sure if you're being ironic or serious," John admitted.

"Yeah, me either." There was a light splash at the other end of the pool and the two turned to see one of the troll students beaming at them with sharp teeth.

"Oh, hi!" she giggled. "Sorry, is this a private pool?"

"No, no, go right ahead," John replied. "It's public. I'm just practicing because I'm on the swim team."

"Swim team?" the girl frowned.

"Yeah, you try to be the fastest to touch the other side of the pool and come back. It's a sport."

"Yeah the same way flag spinning is a sport," Dave snorted and John slugged him, making the troll girl giggle once more.

"Could you time me?" she asked sweetly, cocking her head and pulling down her fuchsia goggles and licking her lips lightly. "I think I'm pretty fast."

"Sure," John grinned as Dave fished the stopwatch out of his pocket and readied the timer. "Ready? Go!" The girl shot off of the wall and through the water, bubbles forming alongside her as she flew like a missile to the other side, touching the wall and curling her body around, kicking off and shooting back, surfacing with a broad grin.

"How'd I do?" she asked the two boys, mouths agape.

"Uh," Dave snapped the button down. "Holy fuck, she beat your time by four whole seconds, Egbert. Better step up your game."

"Haha, hey, that's not bad," John said, cheeks red. "You ARE really fast!"

"I do have a bit of an advantage," she giggled, fins popping away from her skin at the neck, causing Dave to cough violently on the drink he was drinking and John to kneel down on the side of the pool to observe.

"Whoa! Are they fins?"

"Yeah! And gills too, see?" she said, moving her head so he could see the little slits. "Though they're kind of irritated right now. This is treated water, isn't it?"

"Yeah, chlorine," John nodded and Feferi huffed.

"Yuck. It mucks up my gills a storm, but it's still nice to be able to swim."

"So did you LIVE in water back on Alternia?" John asked, letting his feet hang down in the water.

"Yo, Egg-dip, I gotta go to my club," Dave said, thumbing toward the door.

"Oh, right! You're fine, just leave the stopwatch on one of the chairs." Dave gave a two-finger salute and headed out of the pool area. "So, yeah, are you like… aquatic?"

"Mhm! I'm what they call a seadweller," she said, fins wiggling enthusiastically. "See, there are different castes based on blood type. The higher the blood type, the more they get in society, and the highest two are seadwellers, and we're considered natural royalty, though I don't much care for the whole caste system," she frowned.

"Caste system? Wait, natural royalty? So you're, like…"

"The princess!" she giggled. "Yes! I'm hoping to one day be the ruler of Alternia, so I can end this whole caste system and let trolls go back down to Alternia. It's actually kind of a mess right now."

"Oh man, I'm sorry to hear that. But yeah! That'd be so cool if you were the ruler! You seem like a super sweet troll girl and I'm sure you'd make a great ruler."

"Thanks!" she giggled.

"Also, I kind of haven't got your name yet. I'm John!"

"Feferi," she said, beaming and shaking his hand. "It's very nice to meet you John."

"You too!" he said, holding her hand and turning it over. "Oh wow, they're webbed! This is so cool. Do you mind?" She shook her head and he happily inspected her hand further, running his fingers along the webbing between her fingers and she shuddered. "Is that okay?"

"Mhm! Just a bit… sensitive," she smiled.

"Oh! Sorry!"

"No, no, you're fine." She leaned her head on her arm, watching him play with her fingers and giggling on occasion. "Would you like to swim? We don't need to compete or anything, just float around?"

"Definitely!" he said, slipping into the pool beside her. "We only have until it starts to get dark, though."

"Really?" she pouted. "But night swimming is my favorite."

"Weeeeell…" he frowned, squinting at the windows. "It's gonna be dark in about an hour, so maybe we could sneak in after it gets dark?"

"Alright!" she grinned and he studied her face for a moment. She was dotted with freckles, like Dave, but her eyes were a sharp fuchsia and her teeth were sharp points, all fangs and no blunt, straight teeth. "You alright?"

"Oh! Sorry, haha, yeah. Let's swim!" The two darted around the pool for a while, tagging each other and playing small games while they floated around, finally resting on the surface of the pool and floating along silently. "You're pretty fun," John said with a grin.

"You are too! This is so much fun," she sighed. "I'm glad I decided to come down here."

"Me too!" they bumped into each other and giggled as the janitor came in.

"Hey, kids, I'm closin' up, time to get out."

"Alright!" they chimed simultaneously, crawling out of the pool and gathering up their things. "Hey, I'm going out the back, alright?" John called to the janitor, who grunted in response. John took a piece of duct tape and stuck it over the door's latch as they left, waiting outside, peeking in the windows.

"Think we're gonna get in trouble?" Feferi asked.

"If we're caught," John winked. The sun's last rays shimmered on their wet skin before finally setting and leaving them in the darkness as the janitor left the pool area and flipped the lights off. "Alright, let's go!" John tried the door and found that his plan had worked and the two slipped inside, the dark pool lit by only a few auxiliary lights on the ceiling. "Man, it's gonna be dark in the pool."

"C'mon!" Feferi tugged him, her tooth grin bright white in the darkness, her goggles reflecting the light with a sinister gleam. She dove into the pool and he followed in after, searching the bottom of the dark pool for her. Suddenly, there was a small light, like a tiny LED at the bottom of the pool. Then another, and another, until a whole human sized figure was lit up with light purple lights. The two broke the surface at the same time, panting for breath.

"Whoa," John said, swimming over to her. "You glow?"

"Yeah! When it's dark, I can turn on my little lights," she giggled. "I don't have trouble in the dark because we're used to it on Alternia."

"That's so cool," he grinned, running his fingers along her arms, watching the little lights go out as his fingers covered them up, like stars in a sea of black.

"You're pretty cool too," she grinned, moving closer to him, pressing him against the pool wall.

"Oh, uhh-" She moved in close, looking over his face.

"Is this okay?" she asked, tugging her goggles off for the first time and looking into his eyes with seriousness and concern in her deep purple eyes, reflecting the glowing of her lights along her face, the freckles across her nose now bright with light.

"Y-yeah," he stammered. "It's okay." She nodded and closed the gap, pressing her lips to his, hot breath washing over each other, her lips moving down his neck and nibbling softly as his fingers threaded through her hair. She smiled and pushed away from him suddenly.

"I can show you something fun," she said softly as she floated to the middle of the pool.

"What?" She winked, curling her finger in a "come hither" motion before dropping into the water. He held his breath and followed her, following the lights own into the pool to the bottom where she was settled and grabbed his hips, pulling him into another kiss, tongue parting his lips. His eyes parted when suddenly he felt that he could breathe again. He cocked an eyebrow and she wiggled her fins.

They kissed for a while, tongues exploring each others mouths, his tongue running over each of her sharp teeth and hers exploring the varying landscape of sharp and dull teeth as well as the inside of his cheeks before she finally slowly pulled away and they swam back to the surface.

"Wow, Feferi," John panted softly, smiling. "That's… wow."

"You're pretty wow," she said, nibbling his lip and back down his neck.

"How long are you trolls staying here, again?" he said, eyes closed, running his fingers along her shoulders.

"At least a good few months, if not a full school year," she murmured against his skin.

"Do you want to go out with me?" he asked suddenly. She frowned, looking up at him.

"Go out where?"

"No, like…. Do you want to date me?"

"So you want to be matesprits?"

"Haha, maybe. What does that mean?"

"It's like… two people that are together like we are now, but in a romantic way."

"Yeah, exactly!" She feigned a frown, as if she was thinking.

"Hmm, I dunno, John," she winked and he kissed her before giving her a playful shove. She giggled, pressing back up against him. "I'd love to." She kissed him softly and they kicked off, floating hand in hand across the surface of the pool.


	4. Part Foru

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John made Dave a bit late for rap class, and it looks like he's got a troll visitor.

**Skaia High: Part Four  
[Continuous Series]**

“Fuckin’ Egbert bein’ a damn fish,” Dave muttered, turning a corner and coasting down the hall on his Heelys. “Gonna make me late for rap club.” He skidded to a halt outside the class door, swinging the door open grandly. “Have no fear-!” He paused when he saw the room was far less populated, and on one half of the classroom sat a proper looking troll. “Oh, uh… yo?” he offered. The girl looked up from her knitting.

“Oh yes, is this the… ‘rap’ club?”

“What? Oh, yeah. You lookin’ to lay down some sick fires?” he grinned, flashing some half-ass attempt at a gang sign.

“Um… what?” she asked, smiling politely and his posture drooped.

“You know… phat rhymes?”

“You mean slam poetry?” she offered.

“If that’s the cool alien way of sayin’ layin’ down some serious shade. Like, rollin’ it out on the floor like a dark fuckin’ carpet. ‘Do the drapes match?’ Damn straight, keep the house in pitch dark-“ She was staring at him quizzically. “Uh, sorry.”

“Then let’s hear some of these overweight rhymes,” the troll smiled.

“Alright, sick.” He went up in front of the classroom, clearing his throat.

“Aight listen up class, shut yer damn traps / Name’s Dave Strider and I’m the professor of rap / Gonna show this troll shoty we ain’t full of crap / Feedin’ y’all Strider rhymes, straight from the tap / Doctor Strider’s ‘bout to give y’all a lesson / Arm you with words so you can make ‘em your weapons / You better be followin’ this ill rhymin’ session / Cuz y’all know my rhymes are goddamn perfection.” The side of the class filled with students erupted into applause and the troll girl grinned, clapping softly. “See? Rap.”

“Oh, I was aware once you said it was synonymous with slam poetry. I’m quite learned in that regard and you’re rather good at it yourself.”

“Learned, huh?” Dave smirked, arms folded. “Wanna learn us?” She blushed a light green and Dave realized she was actually pretty cute. Wait. What?

“I mean… I suppose I could…” She tentatively stood and she took his place. “May I close my eyes?”

“Sure,” Dave shrugged, and she did. He even started giving a quiet “Uhn uhn tsst, uhn tsst uhn tsst” for her.

“Please excuse me Dave Strider, you may want to sit down / My name’s Kanaya Maryam and I’m gonna take you to Slam Town / My poetry’s heavier than the mightiest musclebeast / Better get out of its way lest you become deceased / We trolls are raised on what you call ‘sick fires’ / Seems by challenging me you’ve built a funeral pyre / I’ll hand back the mic and take my seat / But don’t mistake it, Dave: Your bulge just got beat!”

Dave stood, mouth agape, the troll girl – Kanaya – breathing heavily, with small beads of jade sweat on her brow as she opened her eyes.

“Holy shit,” someone whispered, and the class began to cheer.

“I wholeheartedly fuckin’ agree,” Dave said, straightening his glasses. “Holy shit. That was fantastic.”

“Really?” she flushed, her ashen skin glistening. _Glistening, Dave? Really?_ he chastised himself.

“Yeah,” he nodded. “If you wanna join we can fill out some paperwork after hours. How’s that sound?”

“Lovely,” she grinned.

 

* * *

 

 

“But really, you dropped some seriously ill beats back there,” Dave said, leaning on her chair as she filled out her paperwork.

“Well thank you. On Alternia it’s more… of a personal matter, so I thank you for letting me shut my eyes.”

“No prob. Personal how, though? Like burning through a rap-off as flirting?” he snorted.

“Yes,” she replied, stoic-faced. He nearly fell back against the wall. “Are you alright?”

“Shit- I mean, yeah- I mean, sorry. I didn’t know we were verbally making you striptease or whatever.”

“Oh no,” she chuckled. “Nothing that intimate. More like… a courting gesture, toward the object of your affection.”

“Damn, must’ve been crushin’ on me hard, then. You tore me UP,” he grinned, though received no response. “…OH. Oh. Uh, sorry, I didn’t mean to embarrass you or make you feel like-“ She turned and stood and he thought for sure she was going to smack him across the face, when suddenly he felt soft, warm lips and two hard points from her sharp fangs. “Mmf-! Mmn,” he groaned into her mouth.

“I’m sorry,” she panted, pulling away, cheeks flushed and lipstick smudged.

“No, no, it’s cool,” Dave replied, equally breathless. “Just let me lock the door first.”

“I- I should be leaving,” she muttered and Dave shrugged.

“Sure you don’t want to make out a bit longer?” She faltered mid step, turning on her heel.

“Maybe… a bit longer.”

“Jackpot.”


End file.
